(The Hulk from the 2008 Movie staring Edward Norton, transforming)
The reason why i started with this cinematic draw was because i had an occurrence last night that was a little reminiscent of a scene from a hulk movie... I'll set the story up for you
Last night was the annual Youth Ministry Family Reunion, and when I went into Geneva my goal was to get some friends that were in the ministry that might last me a life time. What I found was not the case. Why? I am not completely sure, but i never seeemed to find to many solid companions in the youth ministry trenches, except for a few close friends, like Mark, Nate, Seth, Ashton, and etc. Ok So maybe i have made friends, but these ministry parties don't really make you feel like it, cause the people that go i do not know to well... BUT anyway
Terry Thomas, my college adviser and professor encouraged us seniors to go to lead some small group things and to set a good example, so after much debate in my head (i was pretty nervous that i wouldn't have fun) I went, to be a good example...
We show up and its cool to start off, some of my boys where there and i hung with them and made borderline inappropriate jokes and i dunno, it was a good time. They left to go see Obama talk about who knows what!
After then left Terry asked some of us older students to lead some small groups, and so i grabbed four girls i didn't know and we asked some questions like what we did this summer and where are they from and what their goals are and this was cool, i got to talk about what Geneva College meant to me.. well before this night..
I was sitting next to the amazing Cliff Kelly and Kat Bull, Dave Hardie was a little ways away but close enough to be near me. And something started happening, like Robin Williams Carreer after the movie RV, things went downhill. People started throwing people in the pool. And Not like, being funny joking, like being Bullies about it, if people didn't wanna go in the pool or were fighting it they still by force would physically push people in the pool. Now... Me as a little guy and someone that got picked on a few times during highschool i hate Hazing, I hate being physically forced to do something, i hate being picked on, and i hate being bullied.
HATE.. and i do not hate a lot of things. But this made me mad, it wasn't about just doing this to your friends anymore it was more extreme, then i heard, from all the other family reunions that have taken place. Anyway, i don't like this so i just sit there and i'm like no, this is dumb at least i'm a senior so i probably will not get messed with. The whole time thinking "This is why i don't come to these, youth ministry majors and prof's are great for making people feel unwelcome and stupid" ... not all.. but the ones at this point in time that were here.
Anyway so this prof comes up behind me.. his name is Doug, big bald guy, he comes to me with his wet nasty hands. Runs his hands threw my hair.. which.. is a no no.. so i tell him to stop that. He then tells me "Put your phone down" and i tell him "no" and he tells me again "put your phone down" and then forces it out of my hand on the table. then he goes under my arm pits to pick me up.. so.. i ...turn around, furious at this point.. and punch him in the balls. He says in half joking half amazed voice "He's going for the nads" now as a little guy, what am i gonna do? all i knew is there was this fence near by that i could go over if i wanted, but i can't hit him in the face cause thats just mean, and i can't defend myself any other way.. anyway .. back to hulk arod my good friend larry then comes up behind me and starts to pick me up by my shoulders.. or something.. so i just simply put my palms on his chest and push him into the fence behind them and then let out a frustrated... F Bomb, kinda loud.. at a youth min party.. yup, i punched a prof in the balls and said the F word.. at a youth min party. why oh why would i do that after some nasty looks i calmed down, apologized to Larry a few hundred times, and never got approached by Doug, which i thought once i cooled down he would come see if i was ok, but, nope. So soon after I took Cliff back to geneva and my night thereafter seemed a blur.
It's weird waking up the next morning thinking of that night, its weird typing about that night and realizing that it really happened, its kind of a fuzzy memory and if someone told me it was a dream i probably wouldn't argue cause it seems that unreal. But non the less it happened. I emailed Doug to apologized and have not received a response yet but i hope that it will come. I am sorry about how i went about dealing with my frustration, i am not angry for being frustrated because i feel people should consider peoples feelings a little more. But I digress
The Night to me seems bad, but eye opening, i can't help but remember what Rob Bell talked about in his movie Dust he talked about how a Rabbi would pick His disciples because they were the best of the best of the best, He picked his followers because he thought they could be like him some day, believe what he believes and do what he does. So when Jesus came and picked His 12 disciples that were not the best of the best, who have already been disregarded if they had tried to be Rabbi's disciples. Jesus picked these men and told them to follow Him and more then that, basically told them that He believes they can be Like Jesus. Well Gods called us to Him as well to be His followers, His disciples. And me, He has called me to be something that works as a proffession in his ministry. But i can't help but think "Why, oh why me" i am not the best of the best, or even close to that, i don't know all the scriptures, the Rabbi's disciples back then had to memorize the WHOLE old testament, i couldn't tell you the books before or after the book Jonah i just am amazed by God. Just as Jesus picked those disciples who were the B team, the no bodies, He has picked me to carry His name. Which i should have no responsibilty doing because of who i am. But i do know that I will do my best to carry it well and to follow Him as best i Can, because I love Him, I know I am not perfect... way far from that.. but i Love everything about the Master and no matter how many times i mess up or am looked down on or am seen as the screwup that i am, I am still going to do my best to lead His people and draw people in to the amazing God that He is.
In those small groups that i lead at the party thing, i had to tell them what Geneva has meant to me, and i couldn't tell them about the classes or the teachers but i do know that when i came in i thought i had all the answers and when I'm getting ready to leave i feel that there is no way shape or form i am ready for this task, but I know my Gods with me and thats great.
enjoy,
arod
